Speculation on why we haven't heard from the three old gits:
1. Kidnapped by old git slave traders.
2. They haven't yet figured out how to turn on/operate Richards' new laptop.
3. The cap to the petrol tank proved too complicated to unlock so they are stuck in the middle of nowhere surround by amorous sheep who have just bought a job lot of wellies.
4. They have got lost, somehow. See 3. above.
5. After a winery tour, New Zealand wine proved so delicious they are yet to sober up.
6. After a very short time living in close proximity to each other, in the camper van, they have murdered each other.
7. Richard worried himself and the other two old gits literally to death.
8. Due to the low exchange rate of the New Zealand dollar they have ran out of funds. forcing them to sell all their possessions and hang around the docks in Wellington saying: "Hello sailor, want a good time" or "Only $3 for a good hard shag". Wonder if they will ever earn enough to send one of them back to good old blighty.
If you think any of the above is correct please vote. If you have any new speculations please leave a comment or send me an email. The funniest will be published on this very page.
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