Three Old Gits - The Latest

At last a text message from Jim. Nothing drastic has happened to them. No kidnapping, no break downs, no drunken staggering about lost. Most important no rampant sheep with their own wellies.

It seems that the three old gits have not been able to access free wifi so they could get on the Internet and send emails. They have spent two weeks on the South Island having a really great time. In particular Jim says that Mount Cook was spectacular.

They travelled to Picton to catch the ferry about midday yesterday. They caught the ferry to the North Island presumably Wellington or Island Bay or even Lower Hutt and travelled up to Waitarere Beach to meet my brother Derrick and his partner Annmarie. I had a text from Derrick to say the three old gits had arrived.

This is all very exciting and I can hardly contain myself until I hear from them again. Hopefully they will get proper access to the internet and we may have a few more details to help fill in the blanks. Though they should still be wary of the sheep with wellies.

Still No News

Speculation on why we haven't heard from the three old gits:

1. Kidnapped by old git slave traders.
2. They haven't yet figured out how to turn on/operate Richards' new laptop.
3. The cap to the petrol tank proved too complicated to unlock so they are stuck in the middle of nowhere surround by amorous sheep who have just bought a job lot of wellies.
4. They have got lost, somehow. See 3. above.
5. After a winery tour, New Zealand wine proved so delicious they are yet to sober up.
6. After a very short time living in close proximity to each other, in the camper van, they have murdered each other.
7. Richard worried himself and the other two old gits literally to death.
8. Due to the low exchange rate of the New Zealand dollar they have ran out of funds. forcing them to sell all their possessions and hang around the docks in Wellington saying: "Hello sailor, want a good time" or "Only $3 for a good hard shag". Wonder if they will ever earn enough to send one of them back to good old blighty.

If you think any of the above is correct please vote. If you have any new speculations please leave a comment or send me an email. The funniest will be published on this very page.

Saga of the Snoring

There is a rumour that Richard elected to spend the night sleeping on the hotel bathroom floor in Auckland to escape Jim's snoring. This may or may not be true but it is sort of funny except to Richard that is.

And So It Begins

The three old gits left these fair shores on a giant metal bird sometime on Saturday evening from Heathrow. So far nothing has been heard from them. Jet lag has something to do with it, maybe. Or maybe white slave traders have kidnapped them. Though why anyone would pay good money for three wrinkly old gits I have no idea. I am sure we will hear from them soon. Watch this space.